Ask Pastor O

"Satan sends us temptations. God sends us opportunities."

Dear pastor O,

Last week while I was hiking out in the woods for fun, I found a canvas bag lying almost out of sight in some bushes. I went over to take a look, and discovered that it contained a very large amount of cash – I'm thinking over $20,000.

I had seen a story in the paper about a bank robbery that had taken place in a city about 50 miles from here, and I'm pretty sure that this money is connected to that robbery.

When I first found the money I was very excited. My son will be starting college in the fall, and frankly our financial situation at home isn't all that good. I was looking forward to being able to help my son and to help pay off some bills, including some large medical bills, that my wife and I are facing.

Now I feel disappointed and torn. I know I should turn the money in like a good citizen. But sometimes doing the right thing in one area means not doing the right thing in others.

I'm sure you will tell me to turn the money in to the authorities, but I just wanted to check with you before I did so.

Thank you,

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

I am very happy that you wrote me to ask about your dilemma.

Indeed, most people would tell you to "do the right thing" and turn the money into the authorities.

When we look more carefully at the situation however, there is another, quite different side to the story. After all, you didn't steal the money, you merely found it. And you found it quite by chance during a hike in the woods. I would suspect that the robbery in fact involved far larger sums of money than the one bag that you found. It is quite likely that the authorities will indeed capture the robbers and bring them to justice. So the question now is, what about that single bag of money that you found?

You, like many other people, immediately begin by thinking of this as a temptation, and as a test of your honesty. But let's look at the other side. After all, you and your wife and your son are all facing some serious financial pressures, which I assume are in no way related to anything bad that any of you have done. So, was finding that bag during your break a random accident, or was it God putting an opportunity in your path? After all, the bank is insured; they won't lose anything. Nor will justice be better served; the criminals will or will not be caught regardless of anything that you do.

Yes, if you "do the right thing" and turn in the money, people will applaud you and there might even be a nice little story in the newspaper about you. Perhaps they will even give you a small reward for your good deed. But considering how hard God worked to put the money in your path, and to lead you to it, wouldn't turning in the money be an insult to God?

It's hard for me to believe that God didn't intend for you and your family to have that money to help you out in time of need. My only suggestion to you would be that if you decide to keep the money, you spend it slowly and discreetly, since simply going into your own bank to deposit $20,000 in cash will indeed attract the attention of the authorities.

God be with you, whatever decision you make.

Pastor O

Dear Pastor O,

I am a well-known plumbing contractor in a medium-size town. I have an excellent reputation for honesty and for doing quality work. Occasionally real estate people will hire me to come in and look at the plumbing in homes or buildings that they plan to sell. I can advise them about any problems, and can fix any items that need to be repaired before putting a home on the market. Last week, a real estate agent asked me to come in and look at a home; what happened then is why I'm writing you today.

I've been married for 15 years, and have always been faithful to my wife. I would say happily married, but the truth is, not so happily married. The first 10 years, everything was great. We had a son and a daughter, now age 6 and 10, and my wife worked with me on the business helping keep the books and schedule appointments. My kids are still great, and my wife still works on the books and deals with appointments, although with a cell phone, I now do a lot of the appointments on my own. But over the past five years, the physical part of my marriage has faded to almost nothing. Maybe some of it is my wife's weight; she's quite a bit heavier now while the physical demands of my job that kept me in pretty good shape. But really, she's the one who seems to have lost interest, and I confess that by now I have pretty much lost interest too.

Well, when I went to the appointment at that home, the realtor was a woman whom I hadn't met before. She was very nice, and very attractive. She appreciated my professionalism about the job, and told me that she would probably be calling me again often. We ended up sitting in the kitchen and talking for quite a while. She told me that her husband was a salesman, who flew all over the country and even internationally, and was often gone for long periods of time. Obviously, that doesn't sound very good for a marriage, and she mentioned that things could get kind of lonely at times. She asked me about my family, I told her a little bit about the state of things, namely not all that good.

She told me that she would probably have two or three houses for me to look at next week. She'll be there with me of course, and well, I guess you can see my question. After all, the nature of the situation is that we will be alone in a home with a bedroom at hand. No motels, no being someplace that we couldn't explain.

I know that this would be wrong, and that the right thing to do would be to resist this temptation. But frankly, both of us are feeling pretty lonely and frustrated.

What should I do? Should I do the safe thing, and recommend another plumber instead? Or should I go, and simply rely on both of us to behave properly?

Thank you,

Feeling Disjointed

Dear Disjointed,

Thank you for your letter. I understand your concern. After all, for you, this is the road not yet traveled, and you feel guilty for even thinking about going there.

When I look at your situation, I see a lot of sadness. You're not happy, probably your wife isn't all that happy, and if your kids feel any of this, they're not that happy either. Unhappiness can be a spiral; the longer we stay unhappy, the more unhappy we become. God doesn't want you to be unhappy. He meant for your marriage to keep you satisfied and fulfilled. But that didn't work out; that's the case in a lot of marriages. But now, we see something new. You and this new woman have been brought together, seemingly by chance. You tell me that as a plumber you are honest and do good work. Isn't that exactly what she needs on a professional level? At the same time however, you both have the opportunity to do something good and even wonderful for each other as loving human beings.

An unlikely coincidence? Would you really want to say that God had no hand in this? I see two people brought together by God for his purposes. After all, when what happens makes you happy, you carry that happiness with you, even when you return home. This is your chance to turn around the spiral of sorrow and to begin building a new and more vibrant phase in your life.

I know that many people will tell you that this is a temptation, and that you have to resist. But is it right for you to let God go to all this trouble to bring the two of you together and then just say "no"? Remember, God helps those who listen to what he is telling them.

Whatever decision you make, remember that God still expects you to do your very best as a plumber, and as a loving human being.

Pastor O

Dear Pastor O,

I am an MBA student and I hope to graduate this June. I have been attending school on an evenings and weekend program, while working full-time during the day. As you may understand, this has made for a very tight schedule. Sometimes, owing to the demands of my day job, I have not been able to complete my assigned reading in my courses. While I am still passing, I am worried about my finals.

In my day job, I work at a computer store. A few months ago another guy in my class came to my store to buy a new laptop. I was able to get him a laptop using my own employee discount, and also loaded his laptop up with some software and games that I have access to through the store without paying for them. A few days ago this fellow student, who works in the school's administrative office, mentioned to me that he might be able to get advance access to the questions on the final exams.

I know that taking him up on his offer would be cheating. But lately I've been so overworked at my day job that there has simply been no way to keep up with my studies as well. I've taken on a lot of debt to get this degree, and if I don't pass I will be in a very serious financial bind in addition to not being able to get the kind of job that I have been hoping for.

I know that you will tell me the cheating is wrong, and that I should resist temptation and accept the consequences that are coming to me. But I think I could do a wonderful job in a management position and I hate to see all my dreams go down the drain.

Thank you for reading this,

Wannabee Entrepreneur

Dear Wannabee,

The fact that you wrote me your letter instead of simply going ahead and taking your friend up on his offer indicates to me that you have a strong sense of morality. I believe this will be an important anchor for you in everything that you do in your life.

I certainly understand the pressures on you at this point, your drive to do well at your job, and your desire to further your education. For most people, the answer to your question would be cut and dried. No cheating, no way, not ever.

And, in different circumstances, I would agree with them. If, for example, you were a philosophy student, or an English student, your circumstances would be far less extenuating. If you were an engineering student or a medical student, not knowing the right answers in building a bridge or performing a delicate operation could endanger other people. An MBA however, is somewhat different. After all, in business, it's not about right or wrong, it's about getting things done.

This opportunity was opened up to you because of a favor that you had done for your friend in the past. This is very much the way of business. Personal contacts, personal connections, and personal favors all help an ambitious businessperson grow their business, and create new jobs that help others.

Where does God stand in all this? Well, I'm sure that God admires your dedication to your job, and your desire to put in extra effort to get an additional degree. Certainly God wants his children to achieve their potential and to flower in the warmth of his love. Is your friend's offer a temptation and a test? Or did God put this opportunity before you?

You sound to me like a very serious and well-meaning person, precisely the kind of young man whom God would like to see succeed. Many people who get A's in school fail when they enter the real world. A test in the classroom may not really test what is most important, particularly in the world of business.

I wish you much luck in the business world, and I hope that you will be able to use the opportunities that you have been given to help create jobs and pass along opportunities to many others.

Pastor O

PAH - 04-07-12