The Contract as sex therapy for couples
You may recall Ronald Reagan's famous line, "The most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government, and I'm here to help.'"
Well, for males in a relationship – married or not – the most terrifying words their partner can utter are, "We need to talk." Whatever follows is clearly being driven by an agenda – hers – and it is not likely to end well for him.
Certainly, if she brings home a fascinating new book about how to "improve communication in your relationship," he knows he's in for it. Even if she does something seemingly innocuous, or even helpful, like coming home with a book of new sex positions, he knows damn well that this is all about him, and of course, what he's doing wrong.
In Edward Albee’s play Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, the play opens with Martha and George coming home and she looks around and proclaims, "What a dump!" It's not about the state of the house, she is quoting from a movie in which the female lead is "discontent." The road to resolving that discontent in the play is brutal, and brutal is pretty much the adjective that any male would apply to attempting to appease the often seemingly inscrutable expectations of the female in their relationship. (Why can’t they be more like Sue and resolve things with more sex?)
So, a helpful book about relationship building is unlikely to set the scene for a positive discussion, and even something seemingly more fun, like a book about sex, will still be viewed with the deepest sort of suspicion.
Damn. What's a woman to do?
The answer? The Contract. She can read it herself, find herself identifying with many of the things that drive Sue, and then tell her partner that this book is really funny (and has lots of sex!) and he should read it. And of course, it is funny, and the first chapter is one of the funniest chapters in the book. And although Josh is not a total loser, it's not hard for the average male to identify with the conflict that Josh feels when confronted with the offer of hot sex with the most gorgeous woman he's ever seen – except of course that he has to donate his kidney to her first. And following that first chapter, he spends quite a bit of time learning about Sue (and kidneys and Marc), but he knows there's some hot sex coming up so he keeps reading.
Yes, feminist concerns are a major part of the story, but is not at all a feminist tract. The fact of the hot sex along the way, and the fact that Sue keeps working to make it hotter and kinkier, should keep a normal straight male reading along. The fact that she ends up being way over the top in a lot of her behavior keeps her from being some boring feminist scold. He may be a wimp, but she’s totally out of control. What guy couldn’t identify with Josh – who wouldn’t want to stick around for the hottest sex of their life, even if he feels like he’s constantly tormented as well? Males will put up with a lot for sex. (Consider the male praying mantis who is likely to have his head bitten off in media res.)
So, plenty of sex in a non-judgmental context; the humor makes it safe. (It’s not one of those, “read this so you can learn what you should be doing” books.)
Lots of other books would make the guy wonder, does she want us to start swinging, or going to orgies, or watching porn together, or B&D/S&M? What does she want me to do? Obviously she’s giving me this because I’m doing something wrong, or not doing something, or whatever.
The comedy here keeps it from having a sense of “first mover” advantage. In relationships, things are rarely (probably never) mutual – in a divorce, the first one to mention the word, the first one to see a lawyer is the winner. (The “dumper” vs the “dumpee.”) The Contract is too funny to let anyone see red flags. And yet, you can imagine couples ending up having some very interesting conversations about sex growing out of it.
Sue is over the top, but the impulses that drive her are very familiar to women. She may not know where to stop, but that’s more a threat to her than to anyone else. (And where she comes out at the end is a very open question.)
Josh is confused and anxious about what she will do next, but the sex is great. And, by the end, even with all the torment, his life has been changed beyond anything he could have anticipated.
Sue does kind of go nuts (which makes it safe for men – and somewhat complicated for women). And even the fact that Sue ends up as the totally dominant member of the couple, with a complete reversal of traditional sexual “roles” is sufficiently comic to not really threaten male readers. (After all, the sex is great. Who cares about all that other stuff?)
This is a book with the potential to generate a lot of discussion, without the sense that there is a "right" answer here. If both members of a couple read it, they can both enjoy talking about it without fear that it’s going to be used against them.
Basically, this isn’t just another novel, it’s a public service work. Probably worthy of an honorary Ph.D. in psychology (and sex therapy). Maybe a Nobel Peace Prize?
Buy it. Read it. Share it with your partner.
Share it with your book club.
Share it on all your social media accounts.