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Alternative Aral Focus Group Report
The respondents looked shocked, and even stunned. “Ach, nein! Surely it cannot be so!” cried out one respondent when she began finally to recover. “Why would Mr. BP, the most respected energy company in the entire world, champion of green, leader of innovation, want to have a relationship with our poor little Aral?” “Yes,” chimed in another, “we love our little Aral, she is like our little child, but she is so, how do you say it, frumplich? Frumpy?”
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Peter Hempel
Mar 23 min read
New Plan to Repurpose Nassau Hall, Benefit University Community
Princeton, NJ No release date set: Confidential – for internal use only A spokesperson for President Christopher Eisgruber of Princeton University announced yesterday that a decision has been reached to go forward with a new deal with a major corporate sponsor that will “deliver extremely important benefits to the university community.” The spokesperson explained, “This plan has been the topic of extended and often quite intense debate among administrators and faculty, as we
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Peter Hempel
Dec 11, 20215 min read
A limited bidding solution for higher education - A modest proposal
The current court cases over affirmative action – this time raised about discrimination against Asians at the most selective colleges –...
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Peter Hempel
Dec 11, 20215 min read
Age is the Money Shot in an Obit
Age is the money shot in an obit. Followed by cause of death as a close second. My father, Carl G. Hempel, was a professor of...
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Peter Hempel
Mar 5, 20212 min read


Favorite quotes about life, death and evolution
“Life is. It goes. And it does not count. That was the hurtling truth that comes to rattle everyone as they grow up, grow old.” Jim Crace, Being Dead (quoted in a book review in Men’s Journal , March 2000, p. 56) "The meaning of life is that it ends." Franz Kafka “It is only as an aesthetic phenomenon that existence and the world are eternally justified.” Friedrich Nietzsche “There’s no way to explain human beings. We shouldn’t be on this planet.” Ancient Aliens (the Histor
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Peter Hempel
Aug 28, 20197 min read
E-texbooks – yes, please!
January 24, 2012 {Note: This is in response to an article in Slate: http://www.slate.com/articles/business/moneybox/2012/01/apple_s_e_te...
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Peter Hempel
Aug 28, 20194 min read
Microsoft's amazing voice recognition capabilities
June 11, 2011 · It's part of Windows 7 I believe. I finally decided to test it out by saying (carefully enunciating) the old phrase:...
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Peter Hempel
Aug 28, 20191 min read
The Stupid Mom (Octomom) saga continues
May 21, 2010 · In my previous post on this freak, I urged her to accept the offer to do porn movies to actually bother to earn a living...
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Peter Hempel
Aug 28, 20192 min read
Salvation for Octomom!
March 25, 2010 · Octomom, plucky, publicity-seeking mom of 14 kids, including the octuplets who gave her her name in the national media,...
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Peter Hempel
Aug 28, 20192 min read
Should I call off the troops headed to Switzerland?
August 3, 2009 · I had recently begun arguing to my friends that in fact our problem was not that we were involved in too many wars, but...
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Peter Hempel
Aug 28, 20192 min read
Happy Purim! Let’s get drunk and have a hanging!
February 27, 2010 · I’m not normally one for religious holidays of any sort, but an article in Slate has made me think I might be...
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Peter Hempel
Aug 28, 20191 min read
The Tao of fortune cookies
April 25, 2009 · I received a fortune cookie in a Chinese restaurant a little while ago which read: "Fear is the darkroom where...
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Peter Hempel
Aug 28, 20192 min read
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